Jobs that I could easily do but no one has ever asked me

I have decided to list jobs that I know I could do but no one has ever asked me:

1. Voice Animation- Seriously...all you have to do is read a script and then make millions. "Luke I am your father"....seriously....how hard is it to say it in a deep voice??????)

2. Dr. Pepper Tester- I know the difference between a delicious Dr.Pepper fountain drink and a sub par fountain drink. I could really help the millions of people that suffer from not knowing they drink disgusting soda.

3. Whitetrash Advisor- I can help people know how to go from chic to whitetrash. This helps when you go into stores because people feel bad and sometimes give you free stuff. (sadly...it is true because it has happened to me) So let me know if you need help.

4. Actress in a WB show- I love the WB but sometimes their actors/actresses are not the best. This is where I can step in. I can play various roles and can even speak with a black accent, whitetrash accent, english accent, drunken accent, and my "I'm better than you" accent.

5. Car Repair Secretary- I can say 'Oh...this is going to cost you. Then just come up with a number so outrageous but use the terms "Well, it is your life if you don't want to get it done" or "I wouldn't let my kids ride in that car". Also the classic lines of "Enjoy the fiery death when your engine blows" or "If you car starts ticking then don't go a-driving"