Top Ten Things Not to Say at the Polling Place

10. Walk up and whisper to the poll worker "Is this where you get $100 dollars if you vote for Obama"? Stare until they answers.


9. Wear your sexy Halloween costume and announce loudly "Why is no one dressed up to vote?"

8. When you are in your voting booth lean over and ask the person next to you "I will show you my votes if you show me yours".

7. Bring a sign and announce that you are running for President. For example "If you want change and don't want a black man or a white old man to win then vote for a Sexy Young Lady like Laura Beers!"

6. Walk up to the poll worker and ask for a ballot. When she hands you one quickly run away and don't look back. Jump into your get away car!

5. Walk up and ask the poll worker "Party of 1 to vote please". When she looks at you weird say "I understand you have a special luncheon for VIP voters".

4. Wear a McCain shirt and button and walk up to the poll place. When someone mentions they are voting for Obama say "I love Obama! I'm going to vote for him too." When they look at you weird say "I got a free shirt". Grab the nearest black marking pen and scratch out McCain on your shirt and write Obama.

3. Ask the poll worker why Hillary Clinton isn't on the ballot. Stare until she answers.

2. Ask why Mitt Romney isn't on the ballot. Start screaming that Mitt should have been the Presidential nomination or at least the VP nomination. When they threaten to call security explain that Mitt Romney belongs to the same church as you so it is okay if you talk like this.

1. Turn in your ballot and wait. When the poll workers ask you why you are waiting explain that you are waiting for the results. When they look at you funny say 'Well, I want to know if I got them all right". Wait as long as you can!