I'm going to write a book

These past few days something amazing has happened.....Peyton is on the road to being fully potty trained!!! She now goes poop in the toilet by herself and hasn't had an accident since last Thurs. As long as I make her take a "time out" while she is playing to go pee she stays dry! It is amazing. So I'm thinking about writing a book. My book will be titled "How to Potty Train your Child in a year and 1/2". Some of my other book ideas, based on my life, are:

-How to make your son love dolls and ask Santa to turn him into a Girl for Christmas
-How to teach your son to poop outside and include his friends
-How to look whitetrash every day and love yourself
-How to get released from a calling in 10 words or less (i.e. I should be Bishop....)
-How to stay fat and other helpful tips on how not to lose weight
-How to workout and hurt yourself
-How to be Mother of the Year and not really do anything special
-How to be Wife of the Year even if your husband doesn't agree with the title

Let me know if you want to preorder any of these books.......